What do you do when the person you love shows a side of themselves you didn’t expect — one that leaves you emotionally drained instead of supported?
I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly a year, and up until recently, I truly believed we were building something strong. We got along well, I cared deeply for him and his family, and I could picture a future together. But everything changed after a single, terrifying moment.
A Sudden Accident That Changed Everything
About a week ago, his mom was hit by a car right in front of us. She suffered multiple serious injuries — a broken pelvis, femur, collarbone — and had to be moved to a nursing facility for ongoing care. It was a traumatic event for everyone, but especially for my boyfriend, who’s very close to his mom.
Understandably, he’s been on edge since it happened. But even before the accident, I noticed that he tends to spiral over small problems. He’ll fixate on things like where a TV remote is placed or whether a mini fridge is slightly inconveniently located — things most people would shrug off. After the accident, that hyper-focus turned into overwhelming stress and anxiety.
When we visited his mom’s rehab center, he became visibly upset about minor inconveniences — a loud TV in the next room, the layout of the room, small things that seemed to set him off completely. Being around that kind of energy has started to feel emotionally suffocating.
I Took a Short Break — But He Couldn’t Handle It
I went on a short annual trip with my dad to Michigan — something I do every year. He was supportive of the trip, and I even cut it short to come back early. But while I was gone, he called me multiple times in one night, panicking about how his relatives were acting around his mom. The next day, while I was driving back, he kept calling again — saying he felt like he might faint and didn’t know what to do.
I told him over and over: ask a nurse for help, get some fresh air, do something. But he wouldn’t act. He just kept calling, expecting me to fix the situation — even though I was hours away, stuck in a car, and couldn’t do anything from where I was.
Even my dad, who was with me in the car, noticed. He said it was concerning that it took multiple calls for my boyfriend to take basic steps. He worried my boyfriend might be overly dependent on me for emotional support. My mom came with me to visit the facility later and said the same thing — that I should think about whether this is a dynamic I can live with.
I Love Him, But I’m Starting to Feel Empty
Since the accident, I’ve barely been home. I’ve stayed at his place, traveled, and been constantly on call to support him. I’m exhausted. I still love him and want to be there — but at what cost?
What does it mean when someone leans so heavily on you in a crisis that it leaves you completely drained? Is this a temporary reaction to a traumatic event — or a sign of what’s to come in future hard times?
I don’t have the answer yet. I just know I’m starting to question whether love is enough when it feels like you’re the only one holding it all together.
This story is part of Buzzqo’s “Real Talk” series — inspired by real relationship struggles and reimagined for deeper reflection.