My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly four years. Things are generally solid between us, but something happened recently that left us at odds—and I’m curious how others might see it.
Before our relationship, I had a close circle of friends from my hometown. One of them, Sarah, has been a good friend of mine for about six years. We used to hang out both one-on-one and with others in the group. About three years ago, she moved away for work, and since then, we haven’t seen each other—just the occasional message or birthday check-in.
Last weekend, while my girlfriend and I were out shopping, we randomly ran into Sarah. Turns out she just moved back and suggested catching up over drinks sometime. She invited both of us, and I said, “Yeah, sounds good.”
Later at home, my girlfriend told me she was uncomfortable with it. She said I shouldn’t have agreed and that she didn’t want to go. I said that’s okay—I’m not forcing her to come—but I still planned to go myself. That’s when things got tense.
She told me it was “disrespectful” to go out for drinks with another woman without her. I explained that I wouldn’t be going alone if she wanted to come. I listened to how she felt, but I didn’t agree that it was wrong.
She insists I should cancel the meetup out of respect for her. I feel like I am being respectful—I heard her out—but I also don’t think I should ghost an old friend just because of her discomfort.
I’m stuck between wanting to honor her feelings and also not wanting to feel like I’m doing something wrong by catching up with someone I’ve known longer than I’ve been in this relationship.
What would you do in this situation?
Is it wrong to see an old friend if your partner doesn’t approve?
This story is part of Buzzqo’s “Real Talk” series — inspired by real relationship struggles and reimagined for deeper reflection.