When we first met, I had just turned 22. He was in his late 30s, though you wouldn’t have guessed it — he looked young, acted even younger, and carried himself like someone still figuring life out. But when he offered security and maturity, I jumped in headfirst.
Back then, I didn’t see the age gap as a red flag. Maybe it was my rebellious streak, or maybe I romanticized it — thank you, Lana Del Rey — but it felt thrilling and different. No one in my life waved a warning flag, and I definitely wasn’t stopping to examine it myself.
We got married when I was 25. On paper, everything looks good. We’re both on the same page about the big things, we live comfortably as DINKs (dual income, no kids), and we’ve built a stable life. There’s affection, routine, and calm. But there’s also something missing.
Lately, I’ve started to feel like we’re more like roommates — or worse, like he’s the parental figure and I’m still the kid. Our sex life has faded into monotony, and while I love him deeply, I sometimes feel like I’ve outgrown the life we created. The idea of starting over — dating, moving, downsizing — feels exhausting. And yet…
Now that I’m 27, I find myself reflecting with a clearer mind. I don’t think I’d choose him if we met today. And the truth I’ve been avoiding? I carry a quiet resentment that he pursued me when I was so young. I know 22 is legally adult, but emotionally? I see the difference now. I couldn’t imagine dating someone that age — and it makes me wonder why he could.
So here I am, in a marriage that’s 80% good, but still haunted by that 20% of doubt. I’m trying to figure out what to do with that — and whether love, comfort, and shared history are enough to outweigh a growing feeling that I missed out on choosing for me.
Have you ever felt like you grew past the person you chose too young? How did you move forward — or did you stay and reshape things together?
This story is part of Buzzqo’s “Real Talk” series — inspired by real relationship struggles and reimagined for deeper reflection.